October 8, 2015
Today I want us to stop and think about WHY we are treating our family like guests. Is it so that our kids will think we are good moms? Or maybe so we will feel like good moms? Is it so that we can stop feeling guilty over what we don’t do? or maybe we just really want to be a blessing to those in our homes. Maybe some of these are true of us…maybe not. But there is a deeper why that I want to delve into today.
We are treating our family like guests because before us is a chance to offer them something of immeasurable value: being known and seen.
We live in an age where superficial wins. We post our best selves and watch, day after day, as others do the same. The celebrity culture values shocking performances, and skin deep messages. It can feel like there is a shell around everything, with nothing inside but a void of emptiness.
But here’s the problem. Real people aren’t like that.
Real people have hearts and souls and hurts and joys and feelings. They want to be known and loved for who they are, not by what they do. And no matter how much culture tries to tell us otherwise, this longing for real and significant will never change. Not ever.
What we offer our children and our spouses when we really see them is a gift beyond value. It helps shape their soul and their place in the world. And I believe this also helps them understand that they have a Father in heaven who also sees them, and intimately cares about their life.
So let us continue loving in a way that communicates that our family members are SEEN and KNOWN. It makes all the difference.
**If you have not purchased your family’s favorite things, do that as soon as possible!**
Love this Krista, and this entire series. I so agree with you and have worked on this with our five children over the years. I want my kids to know they are valued and loved and that they belong in our family. No matter what happens out there in the world, they matter to me! Kids indeed want nothing more than the gift of “being known and seen,” as you point out. I remember my youngest son, who is now 12, used to take his hands and place them on my face and then he’d move my face towards him, to make sure I was listening to him — and that I saw him.
Oh my gosh Cornelia – that is precious. What a great visual — our kids want us to pay attention – even if they don’t act like they do! Thanks so much for sharing and for being along on this journey with me!
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